"BREAKING: In response to the U.S. sending a “much-needed” hospital ship to Greenland (according to Trump), Denmark has reportedly announced it will dispatch a specialized vessel to the United States — staffed entirely by psychiatrists.
Officials say the mission is purely humanitarian, noting that after observing the condition of the president, the government, and large parts of the population, the need for mental health support appears… urgent.
The Danish statement emphasized that treatment will be free, voluntary, and accompanied by complimentary pastries, calm voices, and a gentle explanation of how social safety nets work.
Sources confirm the ship will remain offshore until the patients stop arguing about whether the ocean is a conspiracy.
⚠️ Satire, obviously. But honestly… not the worst idea.