Let me stand up and give all of you a rousing round of applause. You won! Doesn't it feel good to see that unfriendly, mean SOB Chip Kelly high tail it out of town? Isn't it great he got what he deserved, that lazy no good cuss, and now there's a brand new day?
You nailed it! By golly, you were right on the mark with your perceptive analysis of the program. You're really brilliant, all of you! And now, best of all, you get to sit back and watch as the whole thing...
...implodes.
No matter. You're a big fan of the program. Likely, you don't have a dime invested in the MoW collective, but by golly you sure can clear the room with your mouthy bellicosity when discussing that lousy no-good coach we just forced out.
Hey, maybe our recruiting class rankings will improve, huh? Wouldn't that be great? Yeah, we'll be able to boast about how some sportswriters rate our recruits every year! Yessir. Cuz you know that wins games, doesn't it Chip Haters!
So enjoy Chip Haters! You have all the right stuff. Now is your time. You've come of age. Enjoy your next 5 years in the resumed Dark Ages of Ucla Football, and rest assured that you had a hand in bringing back the gathering gloom, the impending misery and prolonging the agony.
What a bunch of f'ing morons.
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